November Challenge Over

Well, the last couple weeks of the month got crazy busy for me. Had a deadline for crafts I had to meet. Took a 3 day trip to Duluth for Thanksgiving (and ate bad). Then, I went on a job interview to Seattle (where I ate bad and didn't pass the interview). All of those things together cut into my normal schedule so I didn't make my 10lb goal, but I did manage to drop 6.4lbs either way! December is here and I'm going to start it all over again!

SW:221.6
CW: 215.2
GW: 211.6
Total November weight lost: 6.4lbs

Day 13 is looking bright!

Slowly but surely I am going to get there! I have worked out steadily after work each day. I have my first mile out in 13:48. I walk for a minute to start at 3.7mph, then every minute and thirty seconds I alternate jogging at 5mph to walking back at 3.7. I do that for the first 15 minutes of my workout and then the next 15 I only walk at 3.7mph. For my 5 minute "cool down" I slow it down gradually by half a mph and make sure I do knee highs. Those burn but maybe it will tighten up my thighs! I can notice my weight loss everywhere except my lets/butt. I need to kick that butt into tip top shape! Lol. Anyways.... I'm still trucking along. I hope whoever is trying it with me is keeping up their motivation too!

SW: 221.6
CW: 216.8
GW: 211.6
Day: 13

10 days down, 20 more to go...

Well, I weighed in again today and didn't get too far. I have been working out steady the last three days after work. Every little bit lost though is just that much closer to where I want to be. It can get so discouraging though when you don't see the scale changing. That's alright though. Your body is changing whether you see it or not. You also have to look at how far you have come. I have lost 43lbs! That's crazy! That's a kid I was carrying around with me! On with the good fight!

SW:221.6
CW: 217.2
GW: 211.6
Day: 11

Still kicking...

Wooo! It's been a busy week at work with opening hunting season here. That's good because I walk a lot at work and it keeps me moving during the day but then that also poops me out at the end of my work day. I have been slacking on the workout department because of that. My weight hasn't changed any and I have been having a sweet tooth lately so I need to drop the bad habits and get back on track here. I ain't gonna reach my goal by slacking off! Last night I got back on the treadmill and walked/jogged for 45 minutes. I am going to do the same tonight. I am going to cut out those sweet things I have been substituting into my diet for the nutritious stuff I cut out to make room for the crap. This is crunch time! There is only a month an a half about left of this year and I have big hopes for it! I will get my mind back into the game so my body will follow. Don't get discouraged by the bad days, make up for them with more good days. Lets do this!

Another one bites the dust

Day 6 is here and gone. Stayed the same today. Busy week at work this far. I haven't exercised after work the last 2 days again. Yesterday had dr. apts after work and tonight I'm pooped. Hitting the hay and bringing it tomorrow again. Nighty night lovely people.

Hot damn day 5!

I am kicking ass so far this month! My morning weigh-in made me very happy. I haven't been starving myself at all. I am averaging 1150-1200 calories per day and drinking plenty of water but I am down again this morning! I will reach my goal a week early at this rate and have the last week of the month to slow it down and maintain that weight. I don't want to drop the weight too rapidly. You can cause serious adverse reactions if it comes off too fast... And I don't want to gain any of it back. Forging on.... I hope everyone is doing great out there and reach their goals!

SW: 221.6
CW: 217.4
GW: 211.6
Day: 5

(That's 4lbs off!!!!)

Day 4 is over

Well, eating right has been going amazing. Exercise.... In 50/50 but when I do I push myself harder. I can now complete a mile in 14:20. Yup, I am doing a little bit better everyday I workout on my treadmill. I have been drinking tons more water too. I let myself get down to only 2-4 glasses of plain water a day and the rest was flavored (zero calorie of course) water or tea. I have bumped my intake up to atleast 8 cups per day and its making a difference. It's a new day.

SW:221.6
CW: 218.2
GW: 211.6
Day: 4

Day 3!

Yesterday we were really busy at work with opening deer season. (Yay). I didn't workout after work but I did have a good day eating so I didn't gain any. Sitting the same this morning.

SW: 221.6
CW: 219.6
GW: 211.6
Day: 3

Day 2

This mornings weigh in- 219.6! I kept it down from last nights workout! I am under 220... I haven't seen that since I can't even remember when! When you start seeing the weight come off it really does push you to want to do better. We can do this together people! Bring on day 2!

SW: 221.6
CW: 219.6
GW: 211.6
Day: 2

First day gone

Well, the day went according to plan. My meals stayed on track.... Minus a pull and peel twizzlers Halloween candy I had... And I got in a 35 minute workout at the end of my work day. Post workout weigh in: 219.6. Lets see what the scale says in the a.m. after my supper. Bring on another day!

Alright, 30 day challenge starts now!

Today is November 1st, that means its day 1 of trying to lose 10lbs in 30 days. I hate waking up in the dark on these cold days but we will struggle through. My day is planned: quinoa for breakfast, turkey burger for lunch and a quinoa stir fry for supper. Work 6am-3pm, do my afternoon treadmill workout and then hit the hay to start again tomorrow. Lets do this people!

SW: 221.6
GW: 211.6
Day: 1

Another month down and I say hi to a lighter me!

Happy Halloween all my lovelies!  I am down to 221!  That's right.  One more pound and I have another 10 off.  I am feeling better.  I have more energy during the day.  Physical activity is getting easier for me.  I have turned my treadmill workout up to walking 3.5mph starting off and I get to jog a little at 5mph.  I can to a 4mph for six minutes straight or I alternate 3.5mph and jogging at 5mph to complete a mile in 14.5 minutes.  That is huge for me.  I haven't been able to do a mile in time like that forever.  I am going to start a 30 day challenge tomorrow.... 10lbs in 30 days and I will try to post daily on my progress and what the day brings for me.  Don't let all that Halloween candy get to you!  Did you know it would take you running the length of a football field to work off eating one peanut M&M?!  That's right... it doesn't look so appetizing now does it?  Lol.  We will start the month off fresh tomorrow morning.  And remember.... If I have been able to lose 40lbs so far, any one can... I was the biggest foodie in the world and with just making healthier choices in my life I am extending my life.  Think about it next time you choose those fried foods over something grilled or fresh veggies...

Plateau...

Well, I have hit that dreaded word. My caloric intake has been about the same, I haven't been exercising every day like I should be and my weight-loss has halted. I need to start making a few more changes in my diet and work on staying active more. Thus far in the game I have: 1)quit drinking any soda, 2)cut out fried foods and 3)switched to all whole grains. For my next undertaking I am going to try to cut out carbs (breads, potatoes, and any flour containing products) and eat more lean proteins (fish, poultry and beans). I have lost 35lbs so far and am holding steady at 225lbs. I need to kick it up a notch and lose another 5lbs this month. The 220s need to get the f out! I am done with carrying around all of this extra weight and its going to come off. Whoever is out there with me I hope you are just as determine as I am. We can get healthy together!

Quin what?

I was watching the health segment on the Today show the other day and they were talking about a new "healthier" alternative called quinoa. I have never heard of it before that day. By the luck of the draw last time I went shopping I walked passed it and decided to try a bag. This morning I cooked up some per the directions on the bag to give it a shot. Plain, quinoa doesn't really have much of a flavor. It's definitely a texture thing. I love trying new and unusual things so this is a piece of cake but for others it may be too much.... When you eat a bite of these little seed like things they snap in your mouth kinda like the snap of fish eggs in-between your teeth. I added about 1/8th of a teaspoon of brown sugar and about a tablespoon of vanilla soy milk to it to eat it like a breakfast cereal. I enjoy it. Quinoa is a healthy alternative winner!

October 2012

 This is me in the same dress from December 2010.  I am still overweight, but now it's getting better.  35lbs down and still in the process of losing.

December 2010

 This is the last full body shot I ever took of myself.  I was so ashamed of how I let myself go.  When I look at this picture now it just makes me sad.  I need to change what I have become.

March 2012

 This was me in March 2012.  I saw this picture and about died.  I had taken a trip to Seattle to see a friend who became a flight attendant and he snapped this photo while we were walking in downtown.  There was no definition to my face.  Everything was just round… like my whole body.  The double chin was the only thing I saw in this picture.  I knew it was time to change.

The torture of fried foods...

So I haven't eaten any fried foods since I started this blog.  Last night for supper I was having a craving for beer battered chicken and home-made french fries.  Since I have now lost 35lbs (woot, woot) I decided I could go for it this once.  This morning I woke up and I am sooooooooo paying for it!  My stomach feels like it's completely twisted into knots and I feel so sluggish and tired it isn't even funny.  I think I have learned my lesson.  The diet I was on before made me fat and was torture to my body.  Now that I have been changing my habits, eating only whole grains with no fried foods and limited intake of sugars, eating any of my forbidden foods show me what kind of damage I was doing to my body all those years.  I hope this feeling passes fairly soon though.  I have definitely learned my lesson. I am still trying to figure out how to get my photos uploaded on here so bear with me... we will show progress!

Lets make an October Challenge!

Ok, I am now 230lbs.  Lets challenge ourselves this month.  Can we do another 10lbs off this month?  I think we can. 26 more days left in this month and today will be the day.  I want to be 220 by November 1st.  The last two days I have been slacking on my exercising.  That won't work to meet this goal.  Work, work, work.  That's the only way.  I also went into my closet of clothes that I had brought with me from my move over 2 years ago now.  Most of the clothes are too baggy on my now, but in the back of the closet I found a black dress.  I have always wanted a classy black dress and I had found a clearance dress one year at Lane Bryant.  I bought it and said I would save it until I could fit into it.  (I have done this several times over the years and ended up giving the piece of clothing to charity because I was never able to fit into it.)  I tried that dress on last night.... It fit like a glove!  It's absolutely perfect on me now.  I couldn't believe it.  I am so proud of where I came from to where I am now.  I also decided I will included some pictures to post when I can add some to this new computer tonight so we can do a visual transformation.  I don't see the changes in myself yet, but everyone is telling me I'm doing something right.  Keep going strong!

Do you know how to rebuild a face with wax?

The moulding wax that is used in mortuaries is not like the wax you find elsewhere.  There is a particularly enjoyable floral scent to it.  There are different consistencies of it, but we used a soft form and a firm for most of our work.  One case we had in the mortuary was a man who had been murdered.  Shot in the face he was missing his nose and the bones in his face were shattered.  With out the expertise of some of the amazing embalmers we had there would have been no way to rebuild something like that.  Although the family is always warned that their loved one will not look like they did while they were alive it's every persons need to say goodbye to their loved one and we do everything we can to make sure they have that last chance.  In the embalming room the process is much the same, it's after the embalming fluids are injected that the real work begins.  A secret of the trade is that embalmers can use dental floss to suture wounds to leave little damage to what is left.  The wax coated dental floss works the best.  It's strong and yet thick enough to hold onto the skin that is now so prone to tearing when sewn.  Working from the underside of the skin layers the embalmer weaves their needle through the flesh to hide the presence of the floss.  When pulled tight at the end just enough pressure is needed to pull the skin together like corset lacing does without puckering the skin and making it appear as if there is something pulling it tight.  After all the open wounds are carefully closed the embalmer takes a small amount of superglue to seal the area, this stops any residual fluid left in the tissues from seeping out the holes.  When the embalmer has done all they can do, I would do my magic.  Most families are asked to bring in the most recent picture of their family member to be used to do their cosmetics.  To truly have a talent for the restorative arts you have have to be able to see what was and how to make it that way again with what you have access to.  The firm wax worked perfectly for rebuilding a nose.  I always use a hairdryer to warm the wax and make it a little more pliable while I build a feature.  When you place it on the face the cool skin, from refrigeration, begins to harden the wax.  It sticks to the embalmed skin perfectly and hold tight so your fingers can maneuver the lump of wax into a defined object.  After the feature is build a cosmetic sponge, a cream foundation and a knack for color blending makes the false nose blend in perfectly to the rest of the face.  Blush adds color to the cheeks and makes the face appear as if it has warm blood flow.  Lip color is applied and finally any excess make-up left in the eyelashes or eyebrows is cleaned away to leave a pale body turn into the appearance of a sleeping person.  There is no greater feeling I have experienced to this date than seeing a family have the closure of seeing their son/father/husband or wife/sister/grandma etc. one last time when they were told they wouldn't be viewable to them.  With tragedy for one comes accomplishment for another.

Hot damn! 230!

That's right!  I am officially 230lbs!  Yesterday I ended up walking another 10miles on my FitBit and today I made sure I ate very well.  2 eggs and 1 piece of toast for breakfast, carrot with ranch and a yogurt for lunch, tuna and pretzels for dinner.  Top all of that off with a delish Skinny Cow ice cream bar and I am there.  I now weigh less than I did when I graduated high school.  I am so proud of my accomplishments.  I can't believe I got here.  My next goal is 50 lbs off.  When I reach that goal I will post some before and after images.  There is no excuse for not making the changes today.  If I can do it any one can.  I was a food fanatic.  Now, I know that what I put into my body not only needs to be good for it but has to make it run at top performance.  Dieting is not a fad but an everyday way of life.  Each little change you make will make a huge difference in your body.  First I gave up soda pop.  Next it was the fried foods.  Now I am trying to read nutrition labels and make sure the calorie intake matches its health content.  Whole grains and low in fats.  If anyone out there is thinking about making the changes.  Join me!

Computer died... I didn't.... lol

Well, my old computer finally kicked the bucket so I ordered a new Macbook.  Pretty sweet set up so far.  I am still trying to make the adjustments from PC to Mac though.  I haven't given up on my healthy eating yet.  I am starting to get more focused in it though.  I have been trying to exercise at least 6 days a week.  Overall I have kept up with it.  The Alli is definitely doing its job.  I had a bad day one day and went over the recommended 15g of fat per meal a day and I had a greasy accident the next day.  I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!  One sneak toot that equals a pants change is not fun!  I bought a FitBit Ultra to monitor my daily activity.  I really enjoy that it tells me how far I have walked a day and that gives me motivation to try and do better each day.  I am, as of this morning, 231lbs!  Woot, woot!  One more pound to reach my 30lb goal and then at 50lbs I am treating myself to getting my hair done for reward.  I have been letting it grow but I think a spoil day at the hair salon is just the type of reward I deserve.  I will try to keep up on here a little better now that I have a new computer.  Have a lovely day all and remember, hard work doesn't start by sitting on your butt!

Below the 240s and flying high!

As of yesterday I was 239.8!  That's right.  I wasn't in the 240s long enough to realize they flew by.  The daily diet planning I do on myfitnesspal.com really help.  As long as I stay below my calorie intake and then keep up on my exercising (which I have been walking on my treadmill for 30min a day again) the 230s will fly by too.  I know the journey isn't easy but if I can do it anyone can.  I have always been a life long foodie.  Whatever is in front of me I eat.  Now, if I eat slowly and start feeling myself get full without finishing my plate it's no big deal.  I set it aside and stop when I am satisfied.  I do eat a lot of spinach salads though.  Lol.  At least one meal a day is a spinach salad.  If anyone wants to join me out there on myfitnesspal.... my name is morguejunkie on there too.  Find me!  Lets shed the pounds together!

Changing your life takes time.

Well, I am officially 240lbs!!! Woot, woot! I haven't weighed this much since high school. Thus far with the Alli I haven't had any of the negative side-effects. I always watch my calorie count as well as fat grams for a meal. With the Alli Program you are suppose to stay under 15 grams of fat per meal. I am doing my best to keep under that. I got a treadmill workout done yesterday, but today got away from me and I didn't get a walk in on the treadmill. Tomorrow is a new day and we will plug along again. I can't believe how great the weight is coming off, but now that I am getting the scale results and people are noticing my weight-loss it fuels my motivation to keep up with the progress. Let's see what tomorrow holds.

The incredible shrinking woman...

Ok, well maybe not shrinking.  Lol.  I am down to 244.8 this morning!  Woohoo!  That is the least I have weighed in over five years!  It's getting a little easier for me to eat smaller portions and control what types of foods I eat.  I have knocked my total daily caloric intake from a incredible 2500 calories a day before my lifestyle switch started to 1500-1600 calories a day.  I can't believe the choices I made for myself were that bad before but I still have a long way to go.  I have made the decision to start the Alli Program as well.  Now that I have changed my diet and can keep the healthier eating going, I hope the Alli Program will give my body that little extra kick to block the extra fats that I am still consuming in my diet.  There are some bad side effects with it, but today is my first day starting it and I hope that I don't have any of those scary problems.  I will keep you posted on the effectiveness of the Alli Program.  I still haven't gotten back into the habit of exercising daily, but I will.  It is a must to boost the weight-loss.  Here's to reaching my new goal- 240lbs!

The changes are getting easier...

Well, I still have the lack of motivation to do extra exercising after I get off work.  It's so hard to find the energy to do it.  I know they say the more you exercise the more energy you get but that's hard when you are so damn tired all the time.  I have been using the myfitnesspal app on my iPhone and trying really hard to stay within 30 calories of my goal caloric consumption for the day and it has been working.  This morning my weigh-in was 245.6!  Five more pound in two weeks to reach my first goal.  Each month I am trying to lose 5lbs.  One month I have the goal of 10, but that's a "we shall see" month.  The only hope I have is to be down to 225 by the end of the year.  I know that diet is 80% of the battle and I have been really trying to conquer that but the exercise is another 20%.  That's the difference from an 'A' to a 'B' grade and I have always been an 'A' student.  This is no time to quit now.  Let's kick this into high gear!

The evening is my downfall....

I try to eat regularly during the day now.  I have controlled my overeating while downstairs.  When I go up to my apartment that's another story.  I still overeat when I go up.  I want to skip eating and just have slim fast but it's so hard for me.  I have cleaned most of the food items I had upstairs out except for the food my mom keeps up there for when she stays with me but I still find something to eat.  I will try my best to stop this bad habit and curb my night-time binging.  It's unhealthy and weight gaining!  Getting up earlier is also my other downfall.  I have the great idea of adding a morning workout to my routine but I already get up at 5am.  I only wanted to try to get up at 4:30am to get in a 15 minute workout, but it's like my body knows it's not time to be up yet and I turn off the alarm and go back to sleep until my regular alarm goes off.  Maybe if I set an alarm for every five minutes and make myself wake and turn it off I will get into the habit of getting up earlier.  All I can do is try to make the progress and keep working at it until it becomes second nature for me.  I have been slacking on my treadmill walking lately too and I need to get into that habit to round out my healthier lifestyle.  Diet is only good if you add exercise with it.  I need motivation again! HELP!

Help me find the determination

Well, I have now plateaued.  I finished the Slim-Fast diet.  Although I did well and lost quite a few pounds, those are quick fix diets that are not long-term result oriented.  I want to change my lifestyle not just quick fix and then gain it all back.  I am down to 250lbs now, but I have lost my determination.  I have the same problem as millions of people in that I love food.  I know exactly what I need to do to lose the weight and I want to lose the weight but during the day I am cooking something and say oh, that looks good.  I want that.  Or I don't have time to eat during the day and then pig out before I go to bed.  I have probably stretched my stomach out so that it doesn't register it's full until it's too late.  I have tried many appetite suppressors.  Drinking water, drinking water right before eating to make you feel fuller, high fiber foods, acai supplements, and others.  All of them have the same results.  I don't notice a difference and eat too much at one time, then I feel bloated and over full for hours afterwards.  I need to find something that stops me from over-eating!  The battle continues...

A new month a few pounds lighter...

Another month has ended and a new began.  It took me 26 years to get in the shape I am today.  I cannot expect the weight to drop off overnight (although that would be amazing).  There have been a few articles in the news lately though about weight loss drugs being approved by the FDA.  People will always look for that quick fix to the problem but that isn't the answer.  Yeah, it may kick-start you and help you reach your goals a lot faster but it doesn't always work in the long run.  You have to change you frame of mind and want to be different to make those changes last.  Choose a bottle of water over that can of pop.  Eat some carrot sticks instead of those greasy potato chips.  You have to look at why you do it and what you can do to change yourself from the inside out...

14 days can change your life...

I have been doing the slim-fast diet for two weeks now.  I am down 7lbs in two weeks!  That is way better than I have every thought I could do.  I still have my splurges, but I try to limit it to one day a week and then the rest I go back to being strict on my diet.  I have also been walking 3mph for at least 30 min each day no matter what.  I do get tired but I am feeling better about it.  I want to start to try waking myself up an hour earlier and getting a morning workout done as well as my afternoon one.  That will give me an hour a day of exercising and they say anything is better than nothing.  I am down to 247lbs!  That is almost 10lbs down from when I started this blog.  I'm not sure if blogging about it is helping with my determination or not but maybe I can change something for someone else out there.  Maybe they will decide to day is the day I will change my life.  Day by day is the only way to do it.  Although I have a goal of being down to 220lbs by December, I only take my diet day by day.  With the help of myfitnesspal.com app on my iPhone I track my daily calories and exercise.  That has been a huge help for me.  You don't realize how many calories you are consuming until you see them listed out for you.  If you don't lie to yourself there you can learn that eating ONE cheese stick has 100 calories!  I know.  It's unbelievable, but before I was tracking my eating habits I would eat a hamburger with 4 or 5 cheese sticks.  That meal alone was worth what most people would have in an entire day.  My body has had that for so long it doesn't know what a good meal should be so with the help of that app I am now eating what my body should have, not what I want.  Give it a try... add me as a friend (morguejunkie), and we can do this healthy living challenge together!

Little by little we march on.

Well, I have been doing ok on the slim-fast diet.  It's hard because I love food and want to eat everything that looks good to me but I am trying to resist.  We are coming onto our second week and I am down 4lbs so far!  Woohoo!  I have been walking for a half an hour each evening on my treadmill and I think it's starting to help too.  My belt needs to be tightened a notch, my shorts seem looser and when I look down I see boobs and no belly!  lol.  Day by day I can do this.  I am only trying to work on it one day at a time and when I am staying at my place alone it works well.  I don't feel the need to make myself eat at night.  When my mom stays with me to work thurs-sat night it's harder because she eats at night.  She won't eat at all during the day but will eat a small dinner and then junk-food at night.  She brings chips or ice cream and then leaves it and it's just temptations I don't need or want.  I am going to make this move to the middle of nowhere count for something!  I will make myself a healthier person here before I move on.  I continue to march on.... 4lbs lighter.

Hard work means nothing without determination.

I have been ignoring my goals.  It happens so easily to me.  I get busy with what is going on in my life and completely ignore everything else that should matter to me.  Lets change that now!  Yesterday an employee of mine said her sister started selling the "Body by Vi" stuff.  Basically it's a diet shake that you drink instead of a meal.  She was asking me what the difference was between doing that and using Slim-Fast.  Basically, I can't think of anything except Slim-Fast has lots of products now and you have 3 snacks a day plus 2 shakes and 1 healthy meal.  Body by Vi has the shakes and some gross cookies you are suppose to eat for a snack.  I'm not sure what a price difference is, but we made a wager about it...  Her sister is using the Body by Vi method, she is going with good ole fashioned diet and exercise and I am going to try the Slim-Fast diet and see what happens in 3 weeks before she leaves to go off to college.  I have done the Slim-Fast diet before and lost weight, but as always, it's a fad diet in which you lose weight while you are doing it but it isn't a healthy way of keeping it off.  Once you quit the shakes and resume eating regular food you usually gain the weight back.  At least that has always been my experience.  Determination has set in.  It is my goal to win this three week competition.  Slim-Fast shall prevail!  lol.....

Humankind is weak

Stress at work makes me starve myself all day. I had a worker tell me they need off all weekend and I have no one to work in their place so I will be doing tripple the work I usually do now. I didn't eat anything all day and then when I came upstairs I ate a big meal and now I am going to bed. It is had for me to change my lifestyle. How do I make the right decisions when accessibility to junk is so much easier?

Mind over Matter

Getting your mind put into a place where it sees food as only a fuel isn't as easy as it sounds.  The logic behind it makes perfect sense, it's being able to eat what is good for you opposed to what your brain tells you is going to taste good is the hard part.  I am armed with the knowledge of what to do, I just need to make the willpower to put all of those concepts into action.  Yesterday was a long day.  Stayed fairly busy all day at the cafe.  In the morning I am not hungry at all and only want my coffee fix.  At about 9 A.M. I make my slim-fast shake and that lasts me until about 1-1:30 P.M. then I start getting hungry.  My mind automatically thinks things like hamburger and fries or chicken strips with sweet & sour.  Both of those things being regulars I cook during the day and know those aren't the healthiest choices I could make.  The last couple days I have been pretty good eating a wrap or carrots to tide me over, but then night time is my downfall.  I have chips, ice cream and candies in my apartment that are so appealing to me before bed.  I need to clean house and move in more fresh veggies and fruits to help me stop the junk food binging in the evening.  I did not walk on the treadmill last night instead opting to walk around the woods at my parents property.  I guess the extra swinging of the arms to swat away the bugs counts are arm exercise too.  Lol

Every day is the first for something

Well, I definitely have come to realize that I like food.  Like all Americans I have been made to look at junk food as good food.  Re-programing ones mind is going to be the difficult task.  How does a "slim" person see food.  I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas and every time we get together we always end up going out to eat.  While eating he thinks about how much he is going to have to run later to work off all of this food.  Afterwards, if he ate too much he complains about how his stomach hurts and he wishes he could just throw-up to release the pressure.  Now, I am totally not condoning any form of eating disorder because I know they are a severe psychological problem that needs to be dealt with but is that how I am suppose to look at food?  How am I suppose to train myself to see food as only fuel and not something enjoyable?  I do not exercise above and beyond my daily activities that quite often are strenuous but realize that it is an important part of weight-loss.  How does one look at a bag of chips and say to themselves, "oh, I will have to exercise an extra hour if I eat those!?"  My mind is just not programmed to do that.  Now my mission is to clear out the junk foods in my apartment and research how to retrain ones mind to look at food in only a body sustaining substance. 

Idle hands are the devils play-things

The day went fairly well. Slim fast for breakfast, a small oriental chicken wrap for lunch and then my work day was over. I went out to tend to my horses and then came home and walked for 30 minutes on a treadmill. Now being left alone, not really tired I have found myself to be hungry. Night time is my weakness. I snack before bed and that ruins me. No evening eating is my first goal.

How do you feel about food?

I just read an interesting article about the way you perceive the food you are going to eat. It said "the slim person" will look at food and say to themselves, if I eat that piece of cake then I have to workout for an extra hour to burn it off. An overweight person will look at that same piece of cake and say to themselves, I bet that cake is going to be delicious and velvety in my mouth. It said you need to retrain your brain to look at food as only fuel to run a machine (your body) and not as something enjoyable. I have always thought food should be enjoyable! If I don't like something how am I suppose to force myself to eat it?! Maybe that's one of my problems. I am a foodie. I believe all food should taste Devine. Oh well, let's see about this disconnection from food....

Every Day is a New Begining

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Today is the first day you will make a change.  Today is a lot of first, but most of all today will be the first day of my blog.  Hopefully I can continue it and achieve something great.  The goal of this blog is a working journal in which I can put my journey into becoming the healthier person I wish to be.  For the last 26 years of my life I have struggled with my weight.  Crash diet after fad after stupid weight loss miracles have not helped me.  I have allowed my weight to sore out of control.  Although I am not the heaviest I have ever been I am considered "morbidly obese" measuring at only 5'5" and weighing a staggering 256lbs.  I come from an overweight family.  Everyone except my brother that is, who goes to the gym religiously.  I know I will never be a gym freak but I do want to have energy at the end of the day.  First I will figure my daily routine...  I wake up every morning at 5:05 A.M.  Get dressed, take my Lhasa Apso Gonk out to go potty from my second floor apartment and then take him back up to his kennel to go to work back downstairs at Mandi's Main St Cafe.  Two years ago my family bought the cafe and now I have a business to run.  I spend the rest of the day working in the cafe until 2:00 P.M. when we close.  ALL DAY I WORK AROUND FRIED FOODS AND UNHEALTHY FOODS!!!  From 2:00-3:30P.M. a group of older local ladies come in for a "therapy session" when we sit around and have coffee or pop or whatever and shoot-the-shit as they say.  I go back up stairs and let Gonk out again.  After that I either go out to my parents homestead about 10 minutes away and take care of my two horses out there, stay at the cafe to do paperwork and cleaning, do a little gardening around the cafe or my parents home or I go upstairs and clean up a little.  That is how my days almost always go.  I am usually in bed and sleeping again between 6:30-9:30P.M. and the next day starts all over again.  There is a never ending cycle of bad choices and inactivity.  I need to step it up if I ever wish to be healthy.  My mother and father both have diabetes.  My father has heart trouble, my mother has severe rheumatoid arthritis and the list continues!  I don't want my children to have to feel helpless for me when I'm in pain the way I feel with my parents.  For the last about year I have used myfitnesstracker.com.  I'm not sure if it has helped at all because I even lie to myself on there adding some more "activities" that probably don't count as activity to make-up for the calorie overage.  I need to build some muscle to help burn off this fat as well as eating healthier.  Today is my day of  change.  I want to loose the bulge and feel more energized!  Are you with me?!?!