Humankind is weak

Stress at work makes me starve myself all day. I had a worker tell me they need off all weekend and I have no one to work in their place so I will be doing tripple the work I usually do now. I didn't eat anything all day and then when I came upstairs I ate a big meal and now I am going to bed. It is had for me to change my lifestyle. How do I make the right decisions when accessibility to junk is so much easier?

Mind over Matter

Getting your mind put into a place where it sees food as only a fuel isn't as easy as it sounds.  The logic behind it makes perfect sense, it's being able to eat what is good for you opposed to what your brain tells you is going to taste good is the hard part.  I am armed with the knowledge of what to do, I just need to make the willpower to put all of those concepts into action.  Yesterday was a long day.  Stayed fairly busy all day at the cafe.  In the morning I am not hungry at all and only want my coffee fix.  At about 9 A.M. I make my slim-fast shake and that lasts me until about 1-1:30 P.M. then I start getting hungry.  My mind automatically thinks things like hamburger and fries or chicken strips with sweet & sour.  Both of those things being regulars I cook during the day and know those aren't the healthiest choices I could make.  The last couple days I have been pretty good eating a wrap or carrots to tide me over, but then night time is my downfall.  I have chips, ice cream and candies in my apartment that are so appealing to me before bed.  I need to clean house and move in more fresh veggies and fruits to help me stop the junk food binging in the evening.  I did not walk on the treadmill last night instead opting to walk around the woods at my parents property.  I guess the extra swinging of the arms to swat away the bugs counts are arm exercise too.  Lol

Every day is the first for something

Well, I definitely have come to realize that I like food.  Like all Americans I have been made to look at junk food as good food.  Re-programing ones mind is going to be the difficult task.  How does a "slim" person see food.  I have a friend who lives in Las Vegas and every time we get together we always end up going out to eat.  While eating he thinks about how much he is going to have to run later to work off all of this food.  Afterwards, if he ate too much he complains about how his stomach hurts and he wishes he could just throw-up to release the pressure.  Now, I am totally not condoning any form of eating disorder because I know they are a severe psychological problem that needs to be dealt with but is that how I am suppose to look at food?  How am I suppose to train myself to see food as only fuel and not something enjoyable?  I do not exercise above and beyond my daily activities that quite often are strenuous but realize that it is an important part of weight-loss.  How does one look at a bag of chips and say to themselves, "oh, I will have to exercise an extra hour if I eat those!?"  My mind is just not programmed to do that.  Now my mission is to clear out the junk foods in my apartment and research how to retrain ones mind to look at food in only a body sustaining substance. 

Idle hands are the devils play-things

The day went fairly well. Slim fast for breakfast, a small oriental chicken wrap for lunch and then my work day was over. I went out to tend to my horses and then came home and walked for 30 minutes on a treadmill. Now being left alone, not really tired I have found myself to be hungry. Night time is my weakness. I snack before bed and that ruins me. No evening eating is my first goal.

How do you feel about food?

I just read an interesting article about the way you perceive the food you are going to eat. It said "the slim person" will look at food and say to themselves, if I eat that piece of cake then I have to workout for an extra hour to burn it off. An overweight person will look at that same piece of cake and say to themselves, I bet that cake is going to be delicious and velvety in my mouth. It said you need to retrain your brain to look at food as only fuel to run a machine (your body) and not as something enjoyable. I have always thought food should be enjoyable! If I don't like something how am I suppose to force myself to eat it?! Maybe that's one of my problems. I am a foodie. I believe all food should taste Devine. Oh well, let's see about this disconnection from food....

Every Day is a New Begining

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Today is the first day you will make a change.  Today is a lot of first, but most of all today will be the first day of my blog.  Hopefully I can continue it and achieve something great.  The goal of this blog is a working journal in which I can put my journey into becoming the healthier person I wish to be.  For the last 26 years of my life I have struggled with my weight.  Crash diet after fad after stupid weight loss miracles have not helped me.  I have allowed my weight to sore out of control.  Although I am not the heaviest I have ever been I am considered "morbidly obese" measuring at only 5'5" and weighing a staggering 256lbs.  I come from an overweight family.  Everyone except my brother that is, who goes to the gym religiously.  I know I will never be a gym freak but I do want to have energy at the end of the day.  First I will figure my daily routine...  I wake up every morning at 5:05 A.M.  Get dressed, take my Lhasa Apso Gonk out to go potty from my second floor apartment and then take him back up to his kennel to go to work back downstairs at Mandi's Main St Cafe.  Two years ago my family bought the cafe and now I have a business to run.  I spend the rest of the day working in the cafe until 2:00 P.M. when we close.  ALL DAY I WORK AROUND FRIED FOODS AND UNHEALTHY FOODS!!!  From 2:00-3:30P.M. a group of older local ladies come in for a "therapy session" when we sit around and have coffee or pop or whatever and shoot-the-shit as they say.  I go back up stairs and let Gonk out again.  After that I either go out to my parents homestead about 10 minutes away and take care of my two horses out there, stay at the cafe to do paperwork and cleaning, do a little gardening around the cafe or my parents home or I go upstairs and clean up a little.  That is how my days almost always go.  I am usually in bed and sleeping again between 6:30-9:30P.M. and the next day starts all over again.  There is a never ending cycle of bad choices and inactivity.  I need to step it up if I ever wish to be healthy.  My mother and father both have diabetes.  My father has heart trouble, my mother has severe rheumatoid arthritis and the list continues!  I don't want my children to have to feel helpless for me when I'm in pain the way I feel with my parents.  For the last about year I have used myfitnesstracker.com.  I'm not sure if it has helped at all because I even lie to myself on there adding some more "activities" that probably don't count as activity to make-up for the calorie overage.  I need to build some muscle to help burn off this fat as well as eating healthier.  Today is my day of  change.  I want to loose the bulge and feel more energized!  Are you with me?!?!